Two meters of snow in Buffalo, Islamic State, Ebola & Victoria Ebb Tide at home, they always seem to come in fours but we were prepared for the worst they could throw at us.
They arrived, somewhat aggrieved, as they normally get a papal dispensation to play an hour earlier at Noon to accommodate the ferry schedule but we were in no mood to countenance such nonsense, so an hour after they had been running around aimlessly, 25 hardened campaigners from the Northern Shores descended on the field to rapturous applause from the fans who had all travelled together in the same smart car for fuel efficiency.
This was the last game before the season break and a win would mean that the Fortress remained unbreached for two and a half years, no small feat.
Alas your scribe was sidelined due to an unfortunate friendly fire incident from someone who normally has the good manners to restrict such actions to off the field, anyway I never name names, but should you ever need a train fixed, then he’s your man.
Woody “the redemption man” Glover was back on top form after what many are calling possibly one of the worst individual displays of rugby this side of the pond since the Second World War, he was on a mission to prove that it was a one off, & he exploded out of the blocks forcing his way deep into enemy territory which then led to cheeky ” he who dares wins ” solo run from a certain Big Jim Mossop who seemed to have caught both teams sleeping when he cantered in for our first try, and bonusly none of our forwards were harmed in the making of that glorious try.
Hot on it’s heels almost came our second try, Renaud blustered his way up the field, timing his off load to Mike the Greek to perfection ,who then exquisitely passed to Woody who in turn kicked ahead and then beat a couple of floundering defenders almost scoring in the process, from rogue to Renaissance man in a matter of weeks.
Our first quarter witnessed some of our best forward support play of the season and from it came a delightful kick ahead from Dougie, it deserved a happy ending and Dedric was there to oblige, judging the bounce of the ball well, kicking it ahead & running on to score our second.
Dougie got us out of gaol when some panicky wayward passes were being made on our goal line but hey that’s what he gets paid to do. Reid had a try disallowed due to a technicality, attempted manslaughter from Renaud, and their # 4 was not a happy camper even refusing to shake Renaud’s hand at the end of the game, mind you no one likes to lose a hand to Belgium cuisine.
Shropshire Craig, with the suspiciously Welsh last name, then caressed a pass to Woody that begged to be kicked ahead and chased with blistering pace and put down just over the try line & Woody duly obliged, going from zero to hero quicker than a Lewis Hamilton pit stop in Abu Dhabi .
Woody then ripped the ball off one of their players, well it could just have easily been one of ours, the mood he was in, and all of a sudden the game, as a contest, was pretty much over, but the opposition had no intention of saying “no mas “.
In the second half Mike took the ball into contact, personally I would have taken one for the ball, off loaded to Dubai Jake who was unstoppable from 27.4 yards. (28 yards out, he would have been killed).
Jaymore then added to our total with a run reminiscent of a Liverpool shopping trip and it was all but over, the fat lady might as well have stayed at home.
In fairness to Ebbtide they did get 2 late ones back, & it didn’t go unnoticed that our attempted dive tackles to prevent their big prop from scoring looked about as genuine as an Italian soccer penalty appeal inside the box, the last one got a 10 from all 3 judges.
Woody then gets the ball with Dougie outside him, ignores Dougie, dissects their 2 defenders to score our 7th, Dougie has that “what am I, chopped liver? ” look about him and I’m thinking Doug ain’t passing the ball from here on in, he didn’t & he scored our 8th try.
You read this match report & you might underestimate the work everyone did. The front row had a game on their hands, all the forwards tackled & ran like demons, Andrew, who travels more than anyone in this league, was faultless at # 9, Ken Robinson, Jimmy H , Dedric, Walshy, were all defying jet lag from their Seattle ” moral victory ” and it seemed to be a walk in the park for Carl.
Thanks to everyone involved in the making of the first half of our season, without you it wouldn’t have been possible, world peace would make it complete but then we wouldn’t have Renaud for the second half.