Northwest Old Boys

Snowcaps 13 - 0 NOBs
19 Oct 2014 - 13:00Klahanie Park, West Vancouver, BC

On a dark and stormy Friday night I phoned Scout, as a purely precautionary measure ,to see if there was any significance in the fact that Seattle played in the same colours as the Islamic State away team, because I know Ken can get a bit prickly when people start hoisting black flags on the club house roof, Scout assured me that it was merely a coincidence but unbeknownst to the unsuspecting Sunday afternoon crowd, I had positioned a few Kurds on the roof just in case he was double bluffing. I didn’t inform them that Dedric may have installed the roof as they would have insisted on danger money.

They brought 17 men, & Abby’s Dave Hull, often regarded as the slut’s slut, suited up for them, was he on a reconn. mission?, as many people world wide were still calling our away win in Abby ,”the most astonishing feat since the Resurrection.”

Had Seattle¬† actually been Islamic State, our strategy would have been to degrade and ultimately destroy them, but as they assured us that they weren’t, we decided just to score more tries than them. It’s an old trick & it sometimes works.

As far as the game itself, it pains me to inform everyone that our backs went on a scoring bonanza, it was a verifiable feeding frenzy. Joaquin ran like he was on an Argentinian army list of known communists in the 70’s ,scoring three, Reid, and Woodreau both bagged a brace, I.e. selfishly scored 2 each, & rumour has it that Big Joe, Gazza, & Jay-more, Shane and Dave McDonald all got one. Henceforth it has been decreed that Jaymore be known as “Karma Sutra ” due to all the positions he is comfortable with.

The try of the game was from Dave “Beirut” Adshade who was as effective as a suicide bomber leaving carnage in his wake as received the ball deep in his own 22 and swatted the opposition aside like gay Welshmen.
Deep down I am a very sensitive soul and so I was greatly saddened to witness the unbridled glee that the whole squad seemed to experience when I failed to catch a try making pass from Woodreau that would have afforded me a simple unopposed score in the corner, but the truth is that as he passed ,I could have sworn that I saw a beautiful sunset out of the corner of my eye, and as you all know I am not one to miss something that special.
Nigel was their M.O.M. & Dedric was ours, which leaves me flabbergasted as all he ever does is run round people, when was the last time you saw him run through their prop? He then made rugby history by hiring the services of young Gazza, to represent him in the traditional M.O.M. drink off competition, which Gazza won, they were both seen later leaving together through the back door,giggling foolishly.

All in all a great day at the “Fortress”, we will be playing against a very different Seattle at their place on Nov 16th and it would be emotional if all those who played yesterday can make the trip, I have already promised Dedric & Gazza that they will be roomies.