Due to the fact that it has been 9 days since Victoria’s Ebbtiders came, lemming like ,to the House of Pain, I can’t really remember what happened in any great detail, although I do have a vague recollection of me passing way too much.
Bizarrely Jmore was picked as our man of the match, it’s not that he didn’t have a good game, but Jim H. was as baffled as I was, when he was tackled by Jmore, his own player, early in the game. I assumed that it was a cunning ploy to sow the seeds of confusion in the opposing ranks , or it could have just been a simple case of him still being pissed, either way it certainly unnerved a couple of their players.
Relentless pressure in the first period finally paid off ,with the aforementioned Jmore spotting a gap that no one knew existed, running through to touch down our first try. The crowd went mental.
We had to make some front row adjustments with the sad departure of the raging Reno, half psychopath, half lunatic, & half ethnic cleanser, but not a particularly good mathematician. Dangerous Dazza & Big Bad Beirut Billy were joined by Dan “The Demon” Tanner & all bets were off. Their front row were traumatized in ways ,not seen since the Spanish Inquisition, their tight head didn’t even know that he suffered from hemorrhoids until he got the chance to have a look himself. It was men against boys but without any priests being involved. And just to prove that he wasn’t a one dimensional player, Desperate Dan boshed his way through their defence, in a manner very reminiscent of one of his famous Dine n’ Dashes from an Essex curry house, to score our second try. The crowd went even more mental, & police leave was cancelled on the North Shore, & choppers flew ahead.
Adrian made a come back at flanker & still hadn’t lost any of his pace, otherwise he would have been going backwards. He proved that he could let a ball go hurtling through his legs from the kickoff without it touching any part of his body, a remarkable skill that just can’t be taught. He proved that he still knew his way around the park as much as he does around a children’s playground and acquitted himself well even front rowing when one of the 3 horsemen of the apocalypse needed a rest.
Beirut Billy proved why he is unlikely to play anywhere other than front row when he instigated a fight by punching their biggest nutcase in the head whilst he was on his back with the nutcase on top of him. Both were sent off for un gentlemanly conduct which is a bit of an oxymoron for a prop.
Our third try was scored by the enigmatic Joaquin who is brilliantly fast & good with ball in hand but Maradona’s dead granny has better ball dribbling skills than him, no wonder he had to leave the country.
Jason had a great game for a youngster, scoring a couple of tries & vindicating the faith of the selectors who could just as easily have gone with someone off the street ,but he is quickly becoming the first name on the team sheet, keep those beers coming. I can’t remember his tries but I do know they were breathtaking.
Gazza also scored, what many people are calling” the best try ever scored by a fireman in that particular game ” and who could possibly argue with that.
All in all , it was business as usual at the office, undefeated at home in some of our younger player’s kids lifetimes, just think if you’ve only been with us for 3 1/2 years & you’ve never played away, you’ve never lost an old boys game, quite remarkable.
Ebbtide did score a consolation try, thanks mainly to me trying to catch a ball that John K. had called for, so the final score was 6-1, Jim was sublime in the kitchen & his food wasn’t bad either, John R’s refereeing was riveting and fun was had by all.
As Beirut mentioned, we need to take our winning ways to Brockton on Sunday, & to those who don’t often travel, it really isn’t very far, you can see your house from the balcony. Car pooling at the club for some & at Seymour’s for the better looking ones might be a good idea.
And finally, Jonesy gets in on Thursday, let’s at least pretend that we used to like him.