Nanaimo Yoos To Bees

Nanaimo 1 - 6 Snowcaps
14 Sep 2014 - 13:006704 Dover Road Nanaimo, BC V9V 1A6

It was a dark & stormy night in the Baja Peninsula but fortunately we were 2,000 kilometres to the North and it was serene and sunny when “The Coalition of the Willing” rendezvoused with immaculate timing at Horse Shoe Bay on a Sunday that, for all intents and purposes,looked just like any other Sunday, our plan was to blend in with the crowd, but unbeknownst to us, the other ferry travellers seemed to be inadvertently blending in with us, which was somewhat disconcerting but we had come too far to abort our mission, and anyway we were not sure what the reimbursement policy was for B.C. Ferries.

Deciding that more was sometimes less ,we decided to go with an eleven man team in what was normally a 15 aside sport. Sergio smiled and said ” you know what, it might just work.”

As we left port, I looked around at battle hardened warriors from previous campaigns, Big Jim & Mike J. were both carrying injuries, we had some grit with John Keller & Dazza, and some finesse and flair with Dedric, Andrew W, Dougie & Sergio, who at this stage, was unaware that he was soon to have a flawless game on the wing. Big Jake, was also in our ranks, having finally realized that we were funnier & faster at  getting a round in than the 3rds, & over there ,behind enemy lines , was a man ,also called Woody, who apparently, as I had never met him, talked a big game. Could he deliver on the big stage against his old team? One of the 2 Woodies is going to have to settle for the name ” Stiffy ” or ” Erectile Disfunction” although Dedric says he has always found the latter to be a bit of a mouthful. I think that whoever scores the most tries against Abby next week gets to keep Woody & in the event of a tie ,a beer drinking race is used as a tie breaker, or you both fight to the death which is always a crowd pleaser.

It’s always difficult to achieve the element of surprise when they pick you up from the ferry, next year we should hide behind a sign or vehicle & jump out when they least expect it.
Camp followers were Gord as coach, who inspired us  by not stating the obvious or indeed anything, Daniel on water bottles & Narins on motivational therapy who epitomized her calling by offering to replace me at half time, despite never having played rugby as a contact sport.

Nanaimo then kiboshed our cunning 11 man strategy by giving us 2 players  to make it 13 aside, sneaky bastards! Steve has Catalina’d with us & they also gave us Dennis, who at 68 years old, epitomizes Old Boys rugby. He played hard & was easily one of our best players and I don’t just mean compared to the backs. He wants to play for us against Abby next week.

Well Woody “2” or Woody Light might talk a big game but he also played a big game & , in my opinion, was instrumental in at least half of our tries with his pin point kicking and speed,passing and tenacious tackling. We were 2 tries up early doors  & he linked up well with all our back line. We ended up winning 7-4 with Dougie scoring a hat trick, Woody got 1, I think Mike got 1 & a certain out of position  tight head prop, who is far too modest to be mentioned, may have inadvertently scored  2 due to being 4 plays behind the game,which sometimes puts one adjacent to the ball carrier when he is tackled a mere  9 ” from the line, making a try somewhat of a formality. Apparently these 2 tries compensated for him panicking under the high ball resulting in a Nanaimo try from the ensuing scrum earlier in the game, although why the aforementioned tight head prop was the only player back in defence is a matter for the backs to ponder, unless of course he was 4 plays behind.

All in all it was a good day out, Jake looked like he was a Snowcap with some good rampaging  runs, and despite letting in 4 tries  we played some great passing rugby. Big Jim was m.o.m. and on the boat trip home we were funnier & louder than everyone else on the ferry, & following Ernest Hemingway’s advice, I only drank  to make other people more interesting.

Next week is ” Abby Away “! We need a good turn out against “Christian State ” who are the valley equivalent of Islamic State and so “Shock and Awe” is going to be required to subdue them. We need to know quickly who is available as this is not the opposition to turn up short handed , as last time we did that ,they refused to give us any players. The last time we played them Dedric was savagely assaulted for questioning Mary’s virginity by a Neanderthal who proved that evolution hadn’t worked for everyone, well let’s face it you can only do so much in 6 days.

All in all it was a great day out, Nanaimo were gracious hosts, & the game was played in a good spirit, don’t expect that next week, so who is in?