The rather cunning plan ,was for the hand picked expeditionary force to head over on Saturday night and engage in some serious reconnaissance, but this was scuppered by Dastardly Don, The Double Agent ,Dunbar who was supposed to be running the safe house where the boys were going to hole up in enemy territory. Instead he broke rank & headed over to the North Shore using the Capilano rookie night as cover, throwing the whole mission into disarray.
Of course Mossop, Watson & the Fijian Fusilier, had too many campaigns under their belts to abort the mission. I was going to say the black fella, but of course in this day & age ” fella ” sounds so out dated.
After hours of deliberation & deciphering of heavily coded messages, using the Coast Salish Native Language, we decided to all leave as one unit on Sunday Morning, it was so crazy a plan that it might just work. Most of us remembered the ill fated night a couple of years ago when you had as much chance of leaving Nanaimo as getting a boat out of Pearl Harbour on Dec 8 1941.
Our ace in the hole was Tommy Longridge, he was our sleeper ,deep in enemy territory, & the only man who could make his vehicle look like a driverless car, so much so that no one saw him coming, until of course, it was too late.
Casualties in previous campaigns, PMS, & gay rights meant that our ranks were somewhat depleted, Kent took one for the team, volunteering to play hooker against what is traditionally a very experienced dark arts threesome. Fortunately his play group consisted of Beirut Billy on one side & Gordon the ex Scottish International Prop on the other side. Those who played in Victoria last year will all remember Gordon, not just because uncannily me & him both look like we are chiseled out of granite, but because his rampaging on field impersonation of William Wallace is much more convincing than that by Mel Gibson, although Dedric said that the Aussie would look better in a kilt.
The second row was Carl, & Hammer, with Ken R playing both 2nd & back row but not at the same time. Due to popular demand, I came out of retirement, it would have been nicer if it was my own players, & not Nanaimo, who wanted me to play, Sergio was on the other flank & Big Jim, fresh from 2 nights training at the Creek shored up the back row, now that’s dedication.
Dedric played scrum half because he wanted to cross the dive pass off his bucket list & so did everyone else,which he did, Andrew W. was at fly & Joe tormented at inside centre. You can’t judge a player from his refereeing ability because John R was flawless at outside centre, Dougie was once again our last line of defence & Jimmy H & Tommy L. winged it wonderfully.
As far as the game itself, I wish I could remember, but I know it was emotional. Who were we playing again ?
I can’t actually remember the scoring sequence but I know that I was fairly, if not completely, instrumental in their flanker getting over from 3 yards out, I thought I had him, but an unkind commentator might say that I was shrugged off.
Tommy Longridge blitzed down the line for a great try ,rolling back the years , & showing a rate of acceleration not seen since he found himself ,many years ago ,amongst the wrong fans at an old firm game back in Glasgow.
Their # 50 then ran through 6 of our players to score a great individual try, a feat that normally would have earned him M.O.M. but as I said in the club house speech after the game, no one likes a show off.
Not to be out done, John R capped off a good passing move to score, surprising everyone with a turn of speed rarely seen in his refereeing. Miles away I actually said ” Who’s the fuckin’ speed demon in the grey scrum cap “, hopefully it’s not politically incorrect to use the word ” demon” nowadays.
None of this is probably in chronological order, but I do remember that our front row gave George & his mates a torrid time, out scrumming them on several occasions, steam rolling them when they couldn’t hook the ball back quick enough, facilitated by the strength of Ken, Carl, & Hammer in the engine room.
Joe had some demolition derby runs & on one such foray had to run half the field with no support and their players trying unsuccessfully to catch him. I assisted by humming Chariots of Fire & the rest is history.
The game ended 3-3 despite a valiant attempt by their usual ref, Cito, I don’t know how you spell his name, but I’m pretty sure it contains a C & a T, to do everything he could to stop us winning.
There was also some try saving tackling by many, Jim H made a brilliant tackle, Kent stopped a certain try 2 feet from the line, as did Hammer & Sergio was all over the field tackling for fun.
It was great to team up with Tommy again, & Gordon was the battering ram he was in Victoria.
As for Donny Dunbar, he played for the enemy, caught a ball I would have put my mortgage on him not catching, & gave their flanker inside information on how to beat me from 3 yards out.
Joe was M.O.M. & the ferry ride home was a shining example of maturity as we get older. Woody we missed you mate, Nanaimo won’t be the same without you.